But God

The title to this blog is let my lifesong be a pleasing fragrance to you...that's not in reference to you exactly but rather to God.

Lets think about that for a minute. What exactly does that mean?

Let my lifesong be a pleasing fragrance to you.

Well I can tell you what its not...

Its not judging or criticism or harsh words or thoughts. It's not getting caught up in the past mistakes or sins of your life.



Why is it so hard to get away from my past? why does it seem to keep following me. Well this time I guess I sort of invited it. OK I'm speaking of my brother. Hes here, I mean here living with us. Its been four weeks now. and finally it looks like hes moving out next week. At first I felt bad for him, but not so much now. I'm not angry just tired of facing my past EVERYDAY! I hate what i had to live through to get to the good part of my life. I don't want to revisit it everyday at random times throughout the day. I worked very hard to get over or suppress those feelings and memories so it wouldn't ruin me or my present life. I hate being reminded of things my mom did to me or us. I hate thinking about how much I hated my life, how depressed I was. Life wasn't worth living for a while. In fact if I hadn't been Catholic I would have committed suicide in my mid-teen years. BUT GOD...But God knew what He had in store for me after all the wrath was over; so He super-naturally empowered me to go on. I said it was because I was Catholic, but the truth is God had a strong hold on my life long before I knew him.

At random times Satan temps me to dispare about those things in my past, and today was one of those days. BUT GOD...was there to help me through it once again. I am so glad I have the Lord to help me through, because those daggers of doubt can be hard to fight through myself.

Lord let my lifesong be a pleasing fragrance to you, not because of what I've done, but because of what you've done for me.