Pre-School

WOW what a difference it is.  Ben has only been in school an hour and a half, and I am starting to doubt my decision to put him in pre-school.  I know its whats best for him and he's ready for it, but, I miss having everyone home.  After homeschooling for 12 years then in a few months NOTHING, it's quite a change.

I started organizing the boys drawers in their room, I almost started to cry when I came across Ben's coat and clothes he's out grown.  My last little guy is gone.

I know this is whats best for everyone, and I know this is God's leading, which is why I am not seriously doubting myself.  I know God wants them to be in school.  Hannah and Aaron are doing so well, and I know Ben will be fine too.  I believe God wanted me to put them in school so I could be the mom he wants me to be to them, loving, supportive, caring, and most important a godly influence. I was overwhelmed with life before we put them in school.

Everything has changed!  We no longer go to the same church as we did for 12 years, we no longer homeschool, Danielle is in college, Dillon is working and taking college classes at the community college, Hannah and Aaron are in school and now Ben is in pre-school.  We have homework in the evenings, and no piano. 

Wow, when God turns the apple cart upside down he really does quite a job!

I suppose it time to start to make new friends.  Thats scary to me.  It's not hard for Dave to make new friends, it's not hard for Hannah or Aaron to make new friends.  But I get gripped with fear at the thought of it.  Just after we were saved, we lost all of what we thought were our friends, and found ourselves friendless.  So in faith I began to pray and cry out to God for new friends.  He brought the Pierson's into our lives.  OH WHAT A MISTAKE THAT WAS!  Maybe I heard wrong from God on that one, I don't know.  I just know the scars are lifetime long and deep!

We went to a new life group meeting last night.  Dave liked it.  I am not sure about it, I just kept thinking how much like PCOP it was and the people were like people we knew there too.  I wonder if this is going to be like trying to name a baby...husband "how about Natalie?"  Wife... "No not Natalie, I once knew a girl named that!"        

I just need to adjust to this new lifestyle and trust God in it and praise God for it!

Lord, I do feel like I'm at a loss right now, all things I have known for so many years are different now.  What is your plan for me?  What is your plan for us as a family?  I know I can trust you, because your are trustworthy!  Amen.